Fifty-fifty can be a misnomer when it comes to sharing your kids. As much as we might wish to completely close the door on the past, we simply can’t in these circumstances. Counter-parents maintain their hate and anger for their ex always at the forefront of their mind. While it is true that you should not have to sell to any court that your equal parenting rights and time with your child should be protected, it is what you have to do right now. The narcissistic, vindictive, controlling parent might try to place conditions on their agreement with you. I mean, on the surface, a stranger would never know the subtle actions she’s taken to control me and time with our daughter. The decisions have to be ones that do not interfere with the other parent’s time. If your state requires it you will want to put the maximum time in there so that you are not subject to the constant badgering from the other parent wanting to know your private business, travel plans, and so on. Even though you have a right to be at that activity, you should be respectful to the other parent. The child will also not have to worry about being placed in one parent’s care more than the other and being exposed more than necessary to one parent’s parenting style more than the other. Take for instance a family code statute that states that the parent who is found to encourage the relationship of the child with the other parent should be considered for being designated primary custodian even in joint custody. But these interactions should be fewer and fewer requirements means fewer reasons you can be dragged back into court. Trivers, R.L. How to Get the Most out of Working With a Child Therapist. Exactly. No part of this article may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means without permission in writing from the author. These posts are provided to give you some alternative perspectives.). Now it’s time to set the record straight and debunk six common co-parenting myths. 6. Or to know how to defend the decisions that you made and not have them still used against you. So the best thing to do in some situations where you feel alienated or are being alienated is to attempt to be involved and if the other parent fights you over a project or tries to keep you out of being involved, then show that in court as best you can, and if it was something that was clearly supposed to be during your time, you can lead the judge to the proper conclusion. As long as both parents have joint legal custody with the rights to get information and be informed by coaches, teachers, doctors, and such, the other parent can get the information as they please without you having to inform them and then get caught in a web of you either didn’t inform them on time or didn’t get something to them at all. Parallel parenting does not require that the parents get along. Generally, the court will make these clarifications involving specific rights like who decides whether a child does a certain activity or who decides what kind of doctor and what kinds of non-emergency treatment the child will receive. Audrey Cade, the “Divorce Warrior,” is the author of Divorce Matters: help for hurting hearts and why divorce is sometimes the best decision. And less fighting means less crime. Whereas maladaptive dependency is fundamentally about a failure to trust one’s self to manage life separately from others, counter-dependency is fundamentally about a failure to trust others. Use these MOTIONS to protect yours and you child’s fundamental rights first. We truly appreciate your support. If the other parent misses a banquet or a gymnastic tournament or a soccer event, it is on the other parent. The suggestions we are offering fall in line with your rights. Co-parents go out of their way to make sure everyone is informed, part of decisions, and to promote transparency. What if they are constantly competing with you and refuse to cooperate on things that you think would be better for your child? We all know that competitive personalities, narcissists, those with bipolar disorder, or just are downright controlling, parachute parents, thrive on keeping you under their finger and dragging you back into court for any perceived slight. Co-parents encourage a loving relationship and strong bond with their other parent. When you get the motions and read the second book, you will get the most out of this class. So odd years you might get to choose the activities and even years the other parent. They just want to have things their way at any cost. (Two mothers, two fathers: now also follows the law? In B. Campbell (Ed. A plan can only be put in place between two parents either by their voluntary agreement OR if ordered by a Court after a hearing at which one of the parties has asked for the Court to establish a Parenting Plan.